


Like a (stolen) Horse to Water

by MarisFerasi



Category: Preacher (Comics), Preacher (TV)
Genre: Blood Drinking, Blood and Gore, Caretaking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Polyamory Negotiations, Shopping, Slow Burn, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 05:08:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17073998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarisFerasi/pseuds/MarisFerasi
Summary: Tulip is a badass bitch. No one is ever gonna tell her different, see? So when she busts up in Starr's holdout and gets her other boy-toy back, there's gonna be much worse than hell to pay for anybody left standing in her way. She doesn't need Jesse, or Genesis, or God, or any other stupid ol' boy to help.But sometimes... she wants 'em there, damnit.Multi-chap, slow burn, friends-to-OT3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a fluffy story of how the OT3 will Super Most Definitely Get Together after they get Cassidy back and keep trucking along.  
> I feel like I am bad at writing Tulip, so I decided to write from her POV as much as possible.
> 
> Uodate: I've failed at writing from Tulip's POV, so I'm going to continue as an unreliable narrator and try again with her elsewhere. A slow burn was not the place to experiment with writing styles. I apologize!

"Alright, I hear some people coming. You take that hall, I got this one. Ready?" Jesse grins back at Tulip over the barrels of their absurdly massive guns.

"Ready. Let's go get our boyfriend back," she grins back at him, quick and feral when he rolls his eyes, and darts down her assigned corridor before the troop of armed Grail operatives rounds the corner on Jesse. 

She vaguely hears him shout a command and then deafening silence before she slams through a double door and into a wide, theater-like room. A man is facing her, shotgun aimed dead at her face, and he starts to talk.

That was his mistake. 

Four bullets from her burst rifle rip his neck and chest apart, knocking him into and over a guardrail at his back. The man plummets into a cavernous pit and Tulip listens for the sick crunch of his body hitting the ground before creeping over to see what he'd been guarding. 

She was not prepared for this, though. 

About twenty feet down, Cassidy's in the basin of the pit, dragging himself by one fray-ended arm toward the dying body of the man Tulip just dropped down there. He mutters to the man and sinks his teeth into the guy's throat, spraying blood halfway up a wall as he drinks deep and long. 

And the guy must have died partway through, because Cass lets go too quickly to be properly sated and falls onto his back, panting with effort and pain. 

"Cassidy!" Tulip shouts, and his eyes--well, one of them-- blinks open and locks onto her. A slow smile etches across his healing face and he struggles to sit. 

"Jaysis, Tulip, what t'ell are yeh doin'?" he gasps, clutching at his side and sinking back into the puddle of blood beneath him.

"Don't get up, sugar, you're still hurt" she eyes a growing stain covering his abdomen and watches in horror as some of his organs ooze out of a hole in his flesh, there. "Fuck. Stay down, idiot, I'll figure something out! DON'T MAKE IT WORSE!" she adds as she runs back into the hall. 

In total, Tulip managed to lure two more inept guards into the room one by one and drop them down for Cassidy to eat before he can safely get upright and maneuver a rope under his arms to be hauled up the wall of the pit. Jesse's still nowhere to be found, but she can do this herself, damnit. 

Cassidy flops over the wall of the enclosure like a dead fish, splattering blood and viscera everywhere. Tulip grimaces but rushes to him all the same, hands skittering out to feel that he's really there and at least intact enough to be moved. She pats him all over, throat tight and eyes watering, as her fingers clench around the shredded remains of his clothes, soaked in several layers of dried and re-wetted blood.

"Aye, I'll be alrigh' luv. T'anks," he sighs, smiling soft at her while she helps him stand on wobbly legs. He's missing a foot but it's growing back fairly quickly. 

"Lean on me, on this side," she positions herself under his arm on his lame side and starts for the door. Gunfire erupts behind it and they pause. Cassidy looks down at her and then back to the door, wary and steeling himself, as Tulip rights the burst rifle, checks the mag, and readies a round. 

Come get 'em, fuckers.

The gunfire splutters to a deafening silence, and the door bursts open with a loud bang. Tulip aims the shotgun, but lowers it with an audible gasp when Cass whips his regrowing hand out to knock it off-kilter. 

"Somebody order a ride?" Jesse says, grinning behind the steering wheel of a small mororized cart. Cassidy chuckles and shakes his head, letting Tulip push him onto the front seat beside Jesse. 

"I said I was getting him," Tulip grumbles, taking the back bench so she can shoot down any Grail soldiers. "Always gotta take over everything," she adds under her breath. 

"I did not, you got him!" Jesse exclaims, waving at Cass' general form. He's still at an odd angle, oozing blood from several places, and regrowing multiple body parts, but Cass smiles weakly and enjoys the short ride to the surface. 

Between the pain of regrowing bones and muscle and skin, and the gluttony of having just drained three full-grown men after a straight month of starvation, Cassidy passes out as soon as Jesse drags him horizontal across the backseat of the SUV Tulip has hotwired. Jesse chuckles at his friend and nudges him around until they're both comfortable, and dictates directions from his phone's GPS to Tulip as she zips them away from Masada, quick as lightening. 

Within a few hours, they pull into a smallish city, bustling with foot traffic and tourists. 

"We gotta find a different car. And a place to crash, hide him 'til he's well enough to fly home." Tulip is gripping the steering wheel, eyes scanning for a parking lot that doesn't look well-patrolled. 

"Tourist town's good for that. Hopefully lots of Americans, we can blend in," Jesse supplies agreeably. He yawns hugely. "Need to find him some clothes, too," he adds. Cassidy is still damp with blood, drooling now into Jesse's shirt front where his face is smashed in sleep. "Well... all of us."

Tulip drives until she sees a row of shops that ends in a large youth hostel and parks, darting inside to pay the fees and get directions to some clothes that aren't garish and brightly emblazoned with the town's name. 

"Come on, Cass, wake up bud." Jesse jostles his friend and snorts when one hazel eye cracks open. Cass groans and flexes minutely, shaking out his limbs and then backing up to sit on the seat proper. "Decent nap?" Jesse laughs, shrugging out of his sport coat. He hands it to Cass to cover up some of the bloodier patches across his torso. 

"Aye, not bad, snugglin' up on yeh, like." He smiles though a grimace as he stretches wrong and a rib pops audibly. "No' long enough, tho. Ah need ta eat somethin' an' sleep some more, mate," Cassidy stretches again, more cautiously this time, and frowns out the windows at passing pedestrians. "Th'fuck are we?" 

"Dunno. France, still, but..." they make eye contact and Jesse shrugs. Tulip skips back to the car and opens the back door, nearly tumbling Jesse out into the sun. 

"Careful, preacher," she teases. Tulip cranes her neck to find Cass, who's blanched backward into the other door to avoid the rays spilling in, and grins when she sees him sitting up and looking mostly-whole. "How you doin', sugar?" 

"Oh, righ' as rain, luv," he answers, itching at the crackling dried blood on his chest. He's never been more glad to have a hand (and fingernails!) grown back than now; he's rarely ever been so damn itchy. Burgundy flakes pepper the seat between them and Cassidy watches them swill down on the currents of air, mind temporarily serene in the chaos that has been his life since he met these two. 

" _Cassidy_!" He jumps when she snaps at him, eyes wide. 

"Sorry I-- what?" He asks, blinking owlishly. 

"I _said_ go inside with Jesse and get cleaned up and rest. I'm going shopping to get us all some clean clothes and food. I'll bring you back something, too," she adds with a wink and a smile and hands Jesse the tiny brass keys that go to their room. "Three-fourteen" she winks at him and disappears into a crowd of chattering Japanese tourists. 

Jesse pockets the keys with a sigh and helps Cassidy out of the car, carefully covered by his suit jacket. They coast into the hostel and up the side stairs as quickly as possible, avoiding any cameras. 

When Jesse unlocks the door and pushes Cassidy inside, the other two men sharing the smallish room look up in general irritation at having room mates. Cass sways on his feet where Jesse put him, looking absolutely shady, and quirks a grin with _far_ too many teeth. 

"Yous two into an all-blokes orgy?" He winks and palms his crotch, suggestively. Jesse straightens behind him and freezes; his friend looks downright predatory. The two strangers balk and look at one another, quickly shuffling their meager belongings out into the hall to hopefully be assigned another room.  

" _Jesus_ , Cass, y'didnt have to do that," Jesse chuckles when his friend shrugs, and drops his now-bloody coat on one of the beds.

The room consists of four 2-tier single-wide bunk beds with sheets, a pillow, and a thermal blanket each, one wardrobe with wired-in hangers, and a bathroom with a shower stall and toilet and one towel per bed on a shelf. The sink and a small, dingy mirror is in the short hall to the bathroom. There is one naked light in the center of the ceiling for each of the small rooms, and two outlets with phone chargers with interchangeable dongles stuck in them already. 

Jesse plugs his phone in and reaches for Cassidy's. "Nah, boyo, d'ey took mine way back." Cass is eyeing the bathroom with blatant want and Jesse can hardly blame him. He follows the vampire in his wobbly toddle to the washroom and helps him start the shower to get the hot water flowing.

"Want help? You uh...dont have all your parts," he comments, looking over Cassidy in the light, now that they're both upright and can breathe for a moment. 

Cass is still missing most of his fingers on both hands, though the forearm and palm of each have grown over considerably in the few hours he's been healing. He has thumbs and one forefinger. His newly-grown foot is sprouting tiny toes, and his teeth seem to have all come back. Any cuts, scrapes, gashes and bone-breaks have mended, but the tendons and muscles will take longer to feel _right_ again. 

"Right... maybe." Cassidy pulls his shirt off and drops it in the trash bin and sits on the toilet to pull his one sock and shoe off. Jesse watches his friend struggle for a moment and drops to one knee with a sigh. 

"Let me help, idiot," he mutters fondly, tugging off Cass' bloodied sock and the ankle-bit of the other with ease. He plants his hands resolutely on Cass' hips and helps the man stand, ignoring how his stomach clenches with the visual they create, him kneeling like this. 

It has been a _long_ time since they were this close, and Jesse has missed his best friend, terribly.

He unbuttons and unzips Cass' jeans quickly and starts to pull them down when his phone starts vibrating on the little shelf in the entryway. 

"Shit, that's probably Tulip," he grumbles. "Can you manage for a sec?" Cassidy nods and waves him away, pushing at the sticky fabric with the heels of his hands. He manages to get them and his boxers over his ass and sits again, kicking until the tacky shite flops onto the tile in a damp heap. He hears Jesse answer and start talking to Tulip, and shuffles himself into the shower stall. 

Pink swirls around his ankles, getting lighter and then darker as he turns under the thankfully-powerful spray. There's a dispenser of "unscented" liquid soap mounted on the wall, and he rubs a huge handful of it over his entire self shamelessly. His hair slowly releases great globs of dried, matted gore, as does the area around his eye, his beard, and the chest hair that grew back while he was captive. 

* * *

 

Tulip is standing in a smallish clothing shop a few blocks from the main, touristy-shop-covered road. She's got an armful of clothes for herself and Jesse, a few shirts for Cassidy, and underwear for the boys, but can't decide on a pant size for the tall, lanky vampire. 

"Just go look at the ones he was just wearing," she says over the phone. Jesse can hear the eyeroll in her tone and sighs, going back into the bathroom to paw through Cass' ruined jeans for a hip tag. 

"Says 30x38. Do they sell in inches here?" He wonders aloud. Cassidy frowns and sticks his head out of the shower curtain, curious. 

"Was'at padre?" 

"Tulip's getting us some clothes. She wanted to know what size to get you." 

Cassidy shrugs back at him as if to say  _I'll wear whatever I get_ and disappears back behind the curtain. Jesse rolls his eyes and says bye to Tulip, hanging up and putting his phone back on the charger. 

Tulip sighs and holds up two pairs of pants, mentally sizing them up and deciding on the longer pair. They're a soft material, anyway. He'll live, as long as his ankles stay out of the sun. She scoops up a package of socks and some sneakers, too, and heads to the checkout. 

Scrounging up some dinner is next on the list. 

* * *

Cassidy is lounging under the hot, _hot_ spray in the shower, enjoying himself immensely. He's not sure he's ever appreciated a shower this much, and he's been this dirty more than once, before. He closes his eyes and listens, breathing in steam.

Jesse's making soft noises out in the bedroom. A loud scraping noise makes Cass frown, but then the bathroom door opens and shuts. 

"Need any help?" Jesse asks, his tone almost... _hopeful_? Cassidy snorts and reaches for the soap again. 

"I t'ink I've managed ter get all me nasty bits. Gotta do me hair again, tho." He wets his curls anew and starts scrubbing the nondescript soap into them, watching chunks of barely-pink lather hit the floor with a splat. 

He's rinsing again when the curtain shifts and Jesse steps in behind him, shivering in the swirling cloud of steamy air mixing around them with ice-cold currents from the room. They blink at one another for a moment, each curious and cautious at this new level of proximity, before Jesse smirks slightly and steps closer. He goes wooly between the eyes for a moment, frowning in the direction on Cass' chest, and then speaks.

"I missed you, after we made you leave," he says quietly, almost touching Cass under the spray, now. He makes an aborted motion like he was going to grip Cassidy's elbow and thought better of it. The other man looks wrecked already, vibrating with want and still aching all over as his eyes flick all over Jesse and then settle on his face.

Some lather is still sliding down the side of his head, and Jesse smiles, pushing him by his chest under the water to finish rinsing it away. Jesse's tongue flicks out, lapping at the droplets of water gathering on his own lips and his eyes drop to Cass' mouth. "Shame, we never properly started...this," he says. A tan hand slides down Cass' chest to his arm, slowly cupping over Cass' elbow.

He's holding himself incredibly still, despite how badly it hurts to do so. Cassidy is completely convinced that he's blacked out, that he'll come-to back in that damnable pit, and Jesse and Tulip will remain a distant memory. After all, why the hell would they come back for him, when they already have each other?

But despite how much he'd thought about it since meeting him in Annville, Cass knows he's not creative enough to properly imagine how Jesse's mouth feels against his own when the preacher finally leans up and kisses him. 

This _has_ to be real. Because if it isn't, it's the bloody end of him. Cassidy has spent the better part of a year trying to force himself to _not_ think of either of his friends _that way_ because it hurt too much to want it so purely, and see them carry on without him. 

And then they broke his fucking heart. Shattered it to a billion pieces.

But...then they came back.... They braved the Grail headquarters for _him_. 

As Jesse's mouth moves against his own, Cassidy lets himself get lost in the momentum of it, but doesn't paw back at Jesse, just lets his hands sit there at Jesse's shoulders. Strong, sure hands shape over the planes of him, curving and gripping in turn as Jesse steps closer, presses their chests and then hips together, and fuck isn't that _glorious_. 

But--

 _Argh_! 

"Je-jess," Cassidy stammers, whimpering slightly when Jesse knocks their groins together and ruts, his hands curved over Cassidy's ass. "Fuck. _Jesse_ ," he tries again, pushing at the Texan's chest.

And Jesse pauses this time, frowning a bit as he loosens his hands and tips backward. "What's wrong?" He looks completely baffled and more than a little wrecked, standing there. It makes Cass swallow hard and blink, trying to find his train of thought, again. 

"I can't, uh..." Cassidy looks down himself and glares at the soft length of his cock, dangling there, trying to fill out but failing. "I'm too hungry, boyo. S'not gonna work. D'blood's workin' on healin' me, an' I a'ready need _more_." 

"O-oh," Jesse stammers. He hadn't thought that far ahead, but the break between them now gives him space to breathe and think. What on earth would he have done with Cass, anyway? Being with another man is wholly out of his field of expertise, despite how long they've been dancing around this very outcome. He may have the enthusiasm, but Jesse would almost rather Tulip be there to help him do things right. 

"Hey... sorry mate, yeah? I can... well, I can 'elp yeh wi'that if yeh like?" Cassidy nudges him out of his stupor. They're still clung together in the cloud of steam in the shower stall, groping and close. Cassidy's palm is curled around the back of Jesse's neck, thumb rubbing soothingly along the skin under his ear.

Jesse looks down at himself and chuckles. His own cock is already wilting again, just as bewildered as its owner. "Nah, Cass, it's alright. Let's finish getting you cleaned up and into a bed. I dunno when Tulip'll be back, ya need to rest." 

Cassidy nods and finishes rinsing his soapy hair before gingerly stepping out of the shower stall so Jesse can wash himself up. He dries, wraps a towel around his waist (since his destroyed clothes are completely filthy), and hobbles out to the bed room. 

No sooner has he chosen a bottom bunk to collapse onto and burrowed under the covers, but there's a firm rapping on the door. His eyebrows knit together on a sigh.

"It's me," Tulip calls, shifting her bags of sundries around. The handles are digging into her fingers from the weight. 

The lock clicks back and Cass opens the door with a squint, already worn out again from just walking all of ten feet. He nods at her and yawns hugely, wobbling back to his chosen bunk and sitting in a heap of gangly limbs. 

"Feelin' better at all?" She asks, setting down her bags on the other bed and bringing him two. She leans forward and presses a hand to his forehead when he nods, eyes drooping. She's smiling a little sadly, but it disappears into a more excited expression when he paws at a bag by his hip and glances inside. 

"Got you guys some underwear and socks to split, you some shoes, and I hope these fit ya," she helps him pull out two sets of dark joggers and a package of long-sleeved tee shirts. 

"D'ey'll be fine, luv. T'anks," he sighs, tipping sideways on the mattress. Tulip watches him slide horizontal as she opens the plastic packs of boxer briefs and socks, dividing them between Cass' pile and one for Jesse on the bunk opposite. She jolts as if remembering something and turns to her pile of bags again. 

"Got you some blood," she says, pulling several donation bags out of a paper bag, along with a dark thermos. He frowns at the thermos and reaches for it, propping up on an elbow. "Oh, here," she looks at his still-deformed hand and opens it for him, handing over a quart of fresh, still-warm blood. 

"Where d'hell did yeh get dis?" He asks, sniffing at it and then taking a sip. It's human. Thankfully, though, he can smell it's not her own. 

"Asked the blood bank at the hospital for a donation," she smirks, proud of herself, and sits on the bunk opposite Cassidy's to start plucking tags off their new outfits. She's biting through the little plastic thingies and he's sipping at his dinner, in mostly-comfortable silence. A few fingers push through his palm and his foot finishes regrowing by the time he tips back the last mouthful of blood. 

Water splats to the basin of the shower with a loud noise and they both jump lightly, having forgotten Jesse was in there. Cassidy finishes the thermos off, licking at the rim with only a little embarrassment, and eyes the growing pile of clothing that Tulip is slinging over beside him. He paws around for a pair of underwear and kicks his towel off, sliding his legs into them and shimmying until they're up.

Tulip watches, glancing over the new ink, the layer of lean muscle that wasn't there when they kicked him out. 

"T'anks fer all dis, luv," he mutters, choosing one of the joggers and pulling them on, followed by a shirt and a set of socks. Gotta be ready to go at all times with these two about. 

"Oh, here," Tulip jumps up and goes to the last bag, pulling out a heather- red zip-up hoodie. She bites the tag off and brings it over, standing in front of him. He goes to take it but she holds it open, slipping it up his long arms and smoothing down the front when it's settled over his frame. They're standing too close, but Cass can't bring himself to move, exactly. He breathes down at her, refusing to make the first move or speak first. 

He hardly feels like he should have to, after everything. They should be apologising to him, if they even mean it. The scene with Jesse in the shower was shocking, completely unexpected, at least... _yet_ , he thinks. Cass is still pretty fucked off at them both, despite the rescue, and this blanket quiet in here with Tulip and his swirling thoughts is bringing it back in full force. He swallows and refocuses his eyes on her, slowly. 

Tulip huffs and quirks a fake smile up at him, her anxiety showing as she pets his front again, studying the zipper with far too much interest while her other hand drifts to hold his hip. "I'm glad we got you back, Cass. I missed you," she whispers, finally closing the few-inch gap as she crashes her head into his chest and wraps him in a firm hug. 

"Christ, Tulip. I missed yous two, too." He replies, patting her carefully. 

Jesse comes out of the bathroom in a billow of steam, wrapped in a towel, and smiles at the two of them still hugging in the bed area. "Ah!" His eyebrows shoot up at the sight of fresh clothes, and he snags a set of boxer briefs with a pleased grin, letting the towel drop as he puts the underwear on. 

"How you feelin'?" He asks Cass, nodding at the vampire and rifling through the clothes for a shirt. He frowns at Tulip's finds, not seeing his usual sort of options, but pulls on a black tee shirt readily enough. 

Cassidy frowns back at the two of them, suddenly stiff, and gently pushes Tulip away to sit on the edge of his bunk. "Better. Confused, tho'," he purses his lips and glares at the two of them. "Why're you actin' all lovey an' shite, both of yez, when you were meaner'n hell ta me not even a month ago? I get like... well, distance makes t'heart go fonder'n all dat, but it's hard believin' either of yez." He shakes his head and blinks. He wants to be steadfast, to tell them to fuck off, but they've got his heartstrings wrapped around their fingers like a puppet, and he finds himself unable to walk away. 

He's gotta try, though. Some things have gone unsaid long enough. 

"Ca--"

"Jesse, you're a dick," he says, interrupting what the preacher was about to say. "T'only reason I told yeh about me'n Tulip havin' one off in Annville was ta piss yeh off, since you spent t'whole time we was at Denis' ignorin' us, 'r puttin' us in danger wi'yer pals. I did it cos yeh hurt me, an' I wan'ed teh hurt you back. Doesn' sound like best mates ter me, boyo. An' Tulip, t'anks fer checkin on me an' all, at least you cared t'at much," his glare flicks back to Jesse and then refocuses on her. "But yeh drove t'stake in deeper after 'e broke my fuckin' heart. Yeh made it a thousand times worse, tellin' me yeh loved me an' then making me leave like yeh did." 

They both stare back at him as if they expected this outburst, but are still at a loss for what to say. Tulip is trying not to snap and fly off the handle at him. 

"It... fuck. It doesn' matter, anymore, a'right? Yez got me outta there, an' I'm...  I'm bloody grateful, an'all, but. I t'ink when we get back ter th'States I'm goin' me own way. R' if yez don't wanna deal wi'me after this talk, I'll fuck off when I can walk more'n ten feet." 

"Cass," Jesse sighs, waving a hand at him like he's batting away any words he finds irritating. "You're not going anywhere, christ." He pats Tulip's shoulder. "Go clean up, relax. I'll talk to him," he nods at the hall to the bathroom and Tulip rolls her eyes, pointedly avoiding looking at their friend as she gets up and stalks into the other room. 

The boys watch her go down the short hall and shut the door a little forcefully with a wince, and Jesse turns to face Cassidy again with his hand covering his eyes. He pinches at the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath. 

"I know, you know that's a lie. You know we care about you, you just don't wanna see it." Cassidy starts to sit forward, mouth open to retort. "Hush. It's my turn, and you're gonna listen, or I'm gonna _make you_."  And the threat alone is enough to make Cassidy's face twist up with anger as he falls back to the bed, growling under his breath. 

Jesse starts again: "You know, because we told you _numerous_ times, that you couldn't stay on the plantation. _It wasnt safe_. Angelville, as a rule, deals in all manner of paranormal bullshit. Magic, demons, voodoo, zombies, slavery, you name it. But monsters," he pauses, ready to be interrupted. He just gets a stony, hurt glare in return. "Monsters have to be killed, no matter what. You were never gonna be safe there, Cass, because whether _we_ feel like you are or not, or you _act_ like one or not...Cass, you _are_ a monster. You're undead, the only thing that can kill you is the sun, and you live off blood. Jody and TC were always gonna come for you. And I couldn't let that happen." He pauses, chewing on his lip. Cass remains stony and silent, but seems to be softening, slightly. At least this much he's heard before. 

"You made me eat my words," Jesse chuckles sadly. "I told gran'ma i's never reopen the Tombs for her, because of what they signify. What they turned me into. But I had to keep you safe. And hurt is still alive. So I put you down there, outta the sun, cos I didnt know what else to do right then. And we got you out, and I'm sorry it hurt so bad. But it hurt me, too, even though I couldnt show it. I never wanted to send you off that way. I felt horrible afterwards, and when I killed 'em all, and Tulip came back to get me after she went lookin' for you, I felt even worse. I knew we had to come get you, Cass. I tried to keep you safe and you still got hurt, so bad." There's deep regret etched on the preacher's face now, and Cassidy feels very uncomfortable. He feels like a downright ass, now. But then Jesse makes it worse by sliding off his cot onto his knees and shuffling forward til hes in-between Cassidy's, and looks at him.  

"I've always said I liked havin' you around. From day...well, day two, actually. Day one I was a little fucked up." Cassidy purses his mouth, trying not to grin back when Jesse chuckles and shakes his head, reminiscing. "It was easier at the church, havin' one place to be, a bed that was mine, a friend in the attic. But we can still be... well, fuck. Together. If you want," Jesse frowns a little at himself then, displeased with how he fizzled out, there, but Cass is mulling over those words anyway. 

His eyes distractedly flick up to Tulip, who's rounded the corner of the short hall, her hair and torso wrapped in towels. 

"T'at was quick," he comments, eyeing her. Of the two of them, she's the wildcat. Less predictable, at least. But she does love him, even if it's not exactly how he'd like. And what Jesse is proposing is--

Wait...

 _Together_?

"Say, padre, uh. By together...d'yeh mean..." Cassidy swirls his fingers around unhelpfully and his eyes dart between the two of them. Tulip rolls her eyes and comes over, drops her towel, and climbs into his lap wearing just her hair wrap. Cass' eyes drop open wide and his hands automatically fall on her waist before he looks nervously down at Jesse. 

He's in no shape for a scrap if the preacher decides to get jealous. 

"He means the _three of us_ , fuckin' and lovin' and carrying on. Cause we love you, you idiot, and we know you love us. Well, me, at least." She looks down at him, pointedly, and then they both glance at Jesse. 

"Tulip's the only person I ever said I love you to, and meant it," Jesse explains, shifting his weight awkwardly. "I dunno about all that, yet, Cass, but I do care about you a lot. An' I like havin' you around. Think I might like ta try an' explore this, if you're on the same page." 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5/27/19 this chapter is updated. Aside from minor editing it should be finished. On to the next!!

It's barely past seven in the evening but, exhausted and full, they settle down for the night. Cassidy picks at the burgers Tulip brought back, but sucks down two of the four the bags left from what she got him and passes out again in his bunk. She watches in a sort of morbid fascination as his fingers finish pushing out of his palms and nails sprout out of the tips while Jesse shoves his own bunk over (with another deafening scraping sound, which doesn't rouse Cassidy  _at all)_ to match alongside the vampire's. Suddenly they have a double bed, fit for three. Tulip pulls her legs up when Jesse manhandles the heavy, metal frames together fully and then she stretches out along the seam, squirming as close as she dares to Cassidy's front where he's snoring on his side, facing them.

It's not that she's afraid of him; quite the opposite. She's more than a little bit desperate. Anxious.

She's worried that he actually _means it,_ this time. That he's sick of their games and the waffling, and he's out. She can hardly blame him... no one knows better than her how emotionally constipated she and Jesse can be. 

But when she wriggles a scant few inches closer, close enough that she can feel the tepid temperature of him, sucking up her body heat, she has to hope that they can work something out. 

She didnt go to fucking France just to lose one of her boys to thick-headedness. 

A minute or so later, Jesse curls up behind her and spreads a second thermal blanket from one of the other bunks out across them, pressing in close. It's chilly in the room, especially after their blissfully hot showers. Cassidy won't have a decent body heat to speak of until he gets fully healed and the blood has something else to do like heat his skin (and get him hard), so Tulip hauls Jesse closer, so that she doesn't have to scooch away from the vamp to keep warm.

Jesse falls asleep before she does, but that's typical. 

Cassidy, for his part, snores on.

* * *

Cassidy jolts out of a dream with a gasp and flail sometime in the dead of night. He's soaked in sweat and aching all over, but at least that part isnt exactly new. 

Wee Tulip is curved against his front, her arm snaking over the dip in his waist and her head tucked against his pectoral. She might have been comfortable and snoozing a minute ago, but her big mooncalf eyes blink up at him now, concerned. Cass realizes his arm is an iron band behind her, squeezing too tight, surely, and he releases as quickly as he can get his brain to catch up.

He's still trying to calm his breathing and still his fingers, which are dancing along her hip to the thunderous tune of the adrenaline radiating through him. Tulip reaches up and curls her hand around the side of his neck, petting downward and over his chest in a soothing manner, and he swallows against the light pressure of it. 

"Wanna tell me?" She whispers, silent as the night, but he can hear her clear as day. Cassidy swallows again, trying to work the lump out of his throat, and shakes his head gently, cautious for waking Jesse up. Tulip nods against him and shimmies closer, encouraging him to wind his arm over her-- more gently this time--and accept the comfort she's offering. 

Cassidy sighs into her hair after a couple minutes and relaxes against her. His fingers are tickling Jesse's side, if the way he shuffles away in his sleep is any indication.

Cass is wholly unused to being allowed a simple cuddle. The girls he pays for sex don't have any time for it, let alone interest after he's come. The bedmates he randomly hooks in bars rarely let him stay over... and the times he's had longer- term partners have been so few and far between that he finds himself unable to resist the simple gesture, now.

His thumb slides over the band of her panties contemplatively, hardly aware of doing so until she snorts against his sternum and reaches back to swat his hand.

"I'm still tryna sleep, even if you aren't," she hisses with a smile, tipping her chin up to press her mouth to the edge of his jaw. " _Relax_ , sugar. We got ya." And he tries to turn his mind off, to focus on the slow, hypnotic thump of wet veins sloshing inches from his face... but no sooner has she drifted back to sleep than the dream comes crowding him back into the dark corners of his mind. 

He tries his damnedest not to think of Billy, or his Ma. But sometimes he's not intoxicated enough to sleep without dreaming. And they come in, shredding at his nerves and opening old wounds, shining a light on him, a creature of darkness. 

No one, not in eighty-nine years now, has come back for Cass in a firefight. Not once since Billy. 

And then now, Jesse Custer and his gun-slinging bird, Tulip. 

He hadn't been that close to actual, palpable death in a long time. And he'll certainly die because of Jesse, he's more sure of it now than ever... but fate seems to have a cruel hand for him. 

Billy had saved him from being gunned down in the Rising. He'd got bitten that night, out of the blue. And his life, as he sees it, was ruined from then on. He'd always assumed he was supposed to die that day, one way or another, and when Billy prevented Death from one of his reapings that morning, another accident was lying in wait to get him. 

Jesse saves him from himself often, be it putting out his flaming body or braving a fully-prepped warzone-- just he and Tulip, here-- to get him back when he's been kidnapped by their most persistent enemy. 

What's the death knell to be, this time? What new horror is around the corner, and how could it _possibly_ make his life any worse? 

Cass mulls over his anxieties in the still, silent darkness until Jesse eventually stirs and sits up, groaning softly, sometime around 3am. He's after a smoke, leaning down to pat through his pile of clothes until he finds a pack and tips one out. The window cracks open a few inches, enough to exhale through, and Jesse sets about smoking his own nerves away. Cass watches him finish one and start another, and gets up, too. 

He hasn't had a cigarette since Eccarius'. 

Jesse turns his head when he hears the bed creak and an easy smile breaks over his face as Cassidy crawls over Tulip carefully and pads over. "One o' those?" Cass asks, reaching, and Jesse hands the pack over and then the lighter. They take turns leaning their faces into the window crevice, chewing their lips against words that they both feel need to be said, but won't quite come. 

Finally, Jesse coughs and breaks the silence, flicking his crushed butt out the window. "You wanna tell me what happened between Angelville and yesterday?" He asks, tempering his voice so they dont wake Tulip. Cassidy's mouth twists, but he eventually nods, ducking his head a little to hide his eyes. 

"Not much ter tell, padre. I went back ta New Orleans, made a few bills d'old fashioned way-- since I got sent off wi' _nothin_... An' dat always makes me sorta frustratedly horny."

"Wait-- old fashioned way?" Cassidy deadpans at Jesse and rolls his eyes, his free hand still lifted in a looping gesture. 

"Oh, fuck, padre. _Oldest profession_ , aye?" At Jesse's expression of shocked understanding and slight disgust, Cass continues. "So, then I got some elephant tranquilizers from a vet, usin' doze same skills, tried ter find a wee hookup on dis like...vampire Tinder app? Mainly fer a place ta shower n' sleep fer d'night. She turn't out to be _posin_ ' as a vamp, which made me fuckin' mad, cos me bloodlust was already up, see? I was starvin' and angry... I almost bit her," he goes quiet, eyes distant for a long moment.

Jesse waits and eventually his friend straightens and sniffs. "So I got meself real fucked up at d'bar, an' her an' her friends come back an' collected me, took me ta dis vampire bloke Eccarius' house. An' we 'ventually made friends. Boyfriends, even, fuck. I mean, th' sex was _unbelievable_. An' he was so sweet ter me. 'E wan'ed to keep me 'n take care o'me, like... But den I found out 'e was killin' his followers, the humans. He'd turn 'em and then drain 'em to get high, get these special powers. He got me ta turn a couple o'em meself.... So I kill't him af'er I fount out about all o' dat. An' then Tulip called, said she was comin' ter get me, and then the Grail showed up and kill't all me new friends. An they took me." Cass finishes his cigarette and pushes the butt out of the crevice. "An' they spent the next month doin' experiments on me, shootin' me fulla big holes, an' generally letting me know it was never gonna end, unless yous showed up, and then you'd be killed." 

Jesse's eyebrows wing up, barely visible in the soft glow of a streetlamp on the road below, but Cass has good vision. Those eyebrows do a little dance of confusion, and before he even opens his mouth, Cassidy is smirking over what bit Jesse latched onto. 

" _Boyfriends_? You were with him for like a _week!_ " 

"It was like _ten bloody days_ , alright, an' we were both vamps, mate. 'S not like either of us had to skirt any issues or discuss like... feckin' power levels." Cassidy rolls his eyes and snatches the cigarettes back from Jesse, taking another. "It was more like _I'm lonely as fuck and no one cares 'bout me. Ach, you too? A'right, ere's me bed, 'ere's some auld clothes, let's fuck_. I mean shite, padre, not everyone's as much of a bloody naïve lil preacher's boy as you." He lights up while Jesse thinks about that, watching him with his brow knit. "Some people jus' say what they want and go fer it." 

"But... Why'd it take ya so long to come on to us then?" Jesse finally asks, frowning. The face Cass gives him can only be called incredulous. 

" _Excuse_ me, _what_?" Cass hisses. "I was bleedin' out in Tulip's arms from 'er pushin' me out a fuckin' _window_ at th' _whorehouse_ the firs'time I laid proper eyes on 'er, and I was _gone_ on 'er, man. Woke up in 'er uncle's bed an spent the next day tryna get a leg over wi'er. And you," Cass flaps a hand at him and scoffs, shifting his weight. "You told me yeh liked 'avin' me around." He finishes weakly, head hanging, grinding the cigarette to dust between his fingers before pushing it out the window and glancing back. His eyes do that thing again where you can see his age, the wear and tear of a life far-too-long on his soul, and Jesse can barely maintain the connection. "How in the fuck was I supposed to come on ter _you_?"

After several minutes of silence, Cassidy snorts a soft laugh and smiles sadly, eyes back on the gritty window. "It wasn't til I met yeh, Jess, that I considered fer th' firs'time that I'd been bit to be _saved_ fer yer timeline. Like... like I couldnae been shot that Easter Sunday in 1916, like all me mates, all doze nice young lads I grew up wit, cos I 'ad ter be _here_ fer you. 'N I's just born at th'wrong time. Up til a year ago, I'd spent most of 89 years since, considerin' meself supremely damned, and jus' too weak ter walk outside an' end it properly." 

"You think God had you get bitten so we'd meet?" Jesse repeats, rolling the taste of that statement around in his mouth. Cassidy shrugs with a quiet exhale and shakes his head once. 

It feels _right_. 

If God is the reason for everything, the one behind every little nuance, then Cassidy has to be here for a reason. And that reason is to help Jesse. To be here, with him. 

He smirks a little and steps a few inches closer to Cassidy, tilting his head up slightly so their chins are almost meeting. "So we could be together?" 

Cass' hands have lifted automatically to set on Jesse's bare waist, and he blinks down at the preacher owlishly. "Why're yous two so deadly set on this?" Cassidy murmurs, his thumbs ticking over the soft skin at Jesse's love handles. The wave of breath from a snort from Jesse wafts over his cheeks and he can't help but smile reflexively, even if it's a little thin and forced. 

"You want this as much as we do, Cass. It's easy to read, right there." He reaches up and taps Cassidy between the eyebrows, tracing the grooves there that show so much emotion. "It feels... kinda-- Right?" Jesse lets his hand wander down to Cass' side and over his ribs to settle between their chests when he leans in a little closer. Cass shifts his weight and frowns, shaking his head gently.

"Jesse. I've spent more'n enough time doin' what _feels good_ and bein' fuckin' spontaneous. I'm _tired_ o'it, alright? Yous two _have_ ta be sure, yeh hear me? Cos I'm not takin this step lightly. I love the both of yez too much. It works, 'r I'm gone. I can't be 'round yous two anymore if it's gonna be like... like a _convenience_ t'ing to yeh. It's been bloody murder bein' round Tulip. But _two_ of yez..." The vampire's eyes flick back and forth between the black pools of Jesse's irises, imploring him to say something. "I'm bloody _old_ , man. Don't I get some kind o' happy retirement from fuckin' around fer a century?" And Jesse laughs then, a quick smile and flash of white teeth shining in the yellowish din from the street, and Cass' heart eases just a little bit. "I _mean it, Jess_. I've done this shite before, th' t'reesome, throuple, _polyamory_ deal. _Clearly_ it hasnae ever worked out fer _me_. Specifically." He grumbles the last, dipping his head on some bitter memory. "An' you 'n I don' exactly have the best track record fer bein' communicative an' open, boyo. I'm still pissed at yeh fer putting a God-fersaken table leg t'ru me chest an' _dismembering me_." 

Jesse winces and has the shame to look away at that bald accusation. "I mean it. _I do_. And I _know_ Tulip does," Jesse murmurs, tipping up and catching Cassidy's mouth with his lips just as his hand cups the back of the other man's skull to pull him down an inch or two. Cass makes a soft noise and his hands slide up cautiously, and then he pushes away lightly as Jesse tries to kiss him more deeply. 

The soft sound of a camera capture jolts both of them, breaking Jesse's train of thought as he goes to ask Cass  _why_ , and they separate faster than cats, glancing around. Tulip grins up at them from the center of the bed with her phone held up, triumphant. 

"Dreams do come true, _damn_!" She teases them. "That's a background photo, for sure. Now, you two assholes better get back in this bed and get some more sleep, cos two hours was _not enough_ ," she glares pointedly at Cass, "and we'll discuss this whole thing in the morning." 

Jesse ducks his chin with a smile and glances up at Cass through his lashes before nodding toward the bed and slipping back toward Tulip. Cassidy goes back to their nest of tangled blankets and limbs and crawls carefully back into his corner, smiling contentedly at their hands trailing over his skin while he stretches and contracts above them. 

When they're all back horizontal and curved together, Tulip pokes and prods at Cass until he's the little spoon to her, smiling like the insane at the cinder-block wall in the darkness. Her wee hand curls against his sternum, and Jesse's follows to clasp over the rise of his hip, and soon, they all three succumb to the warmth and closeness, and fall back asleep. 

* * *

 

Tulip startles awake to the sound of a door shutting. Her hand automatically pats the space around her and finds the areas where Jesse and Cassidy _should be_ , empty and cold.  She frowns and gets up, padding through the room until she sees the light on in the toilet. A few seconds later, Jesse emerges, mussed from sleep but happy. He pauses at her expression, face falling slightly, and glances at the door to the hallway. 

"Uh, he said he needed some fresh air," Jesse shrugs. 

"And you _let him go_? Jesse, he's _hurt_ and we just got him back from a global terrorist group that spent a month torturing him just to lure you there!" Tulip shouts, gesticulating wildly. Jesse rubs at the back of his neck and shrugs again. 

"He's fine today. C'aint just put him on a leash, Tulip, he's a grown ass man. Y' gotta let him have some space, yesterday was pretty intense." Jesse goes to the sink and paws through a shopping bag there to find a package of tooth brushes and tooth paste. "By the way, I dont think _I'm_ gonna be the one who convinces him that he's like.. part of _us_ ," he says around the plastic handle, spitting.

"Why? He already knows I'm for it," Tulip groans. "What did you do? Or _didn't_  you do?"

"I didnt do shit 'cept kiss him a bunch and tell him he was here to stay!" Jesse spits and rinses the brush and his mouth, turning to scowl at Tulip, but is met with her 'thinking face' instead. "What?" 

"Did I hear him right last night? You dismembered him?" 

"Awh, shit.... It was to get him _out of Angelville_. I hid him in a bag in Jody's work truck and tried to mail him back to New Orleans. He got outta the box," Jesse mumbles the last into the sink.

"Thats why when he got back he only had one hand? And then you shoved a table leg through his chest?" Tulips eyes are bugging when Jesse nods, chewing on his lips. "Jesus Christ, Jesse, _what the fuck_?!" Tulip screeches, completely taken off guard. 

"The only reason I did it that way is cause he wouldn't just listen and GO, plus I knew he'd grow back together. I left him with all his parts, 'cept the one hand, and a bag of blood!" 

"Oh my God. He's never gonna agree to this. How could you have even seriously _done that_?" Tulip stares him down and Jesse shifts uncomfortably. 

"Machete in the Tombs. After I made him fight the first time, prove his worth _alive_ to  Jody and TC. They left me to lock him up til the next show. He was tired and hurt, and I tried to make it quick." Jesse can barely defend himself. He still thinks about that moment, when he can't distract himself otherwise, and it sickens him, still. "I couldnt think of any other quick way to get him out safely. It seemed like the best, if _worst_ , bet." 

"Go get him," Tulip says imperiously, pointing at the door, "and then let us talk." 

Jesse dresses and goes, tail suitably between his legs.

* * *

 

"Cass!" Jesse calls, squinting up at the metal fire escape scaffolding the side of their large building. It's the side in the alley, shaded from the late-morning sun, and Cassidy's about two floors up from the sidewalk, legs dangling while he plays idly on Jesse's phone. A growing pile of cigarette butts is at the base of the ladder, and another plunks down when Jesse approaches. "C'mere."

"Woss wrong, padre?" Cass calls down, collecting the smashed packet of smokes and his lighter and starting to stand. 

"Nothin. Tulip wants ya," Jesse says, holding the ladder while Cassidy climbs down and jumps the last few rungs, turning to face him with a curious smile. Maybe slightly suspicious. 

"An' where are _you_ goin' that she needs _me_ , eh?" 

"You clearly feel better." Jesse accuses, looking the vampire up and down. He still looks incredibly tired and drained, but fighting fit other than that. "I'm goin' to look around town, start some trouble, since my backup is all healed up," he fake-punches Cass in the shoulder but his hand slides down to grip the other man's hand briefly, leaning in with a soft, playful smile, before he takes the cigarettes and lighter and walks off into the sunlight. 

Cass squints after Jesse for a moment, wishing he had sunglasses, and chuckles. "Yous two are about as subtle as they come, aren't yeh?" he calls out, but if Jesse hears him, he doesn't react, and Cassidy shakes his head. He stares back at the brick wall of the hostel building for a full minute, and then turns to go inside. 

The vamp follows the stairwell to the third floor and slips down the hall silently enough, opening their door. "Tulip?" He calls, shutting and locking the door. He hopes briefly that they wont get any new lodgers assigned to the other beds. He'll have to scare them off, _again_. 

"Hey sugar. You feelin' better today?" Tulip's voice croons out of the bed area.

"Aye, luv. Me joints hurt, but tha's jus' th' tendons tightenin' back up." Cass nudges his shoes off, coming around the dividing wall, and stops short. His breath catches in his throat as Tulip's hair towel slips to the floor in a puddle of cheap terrycloth, and she glances over her bare shoulder at him with a coy little smile that leaves him utterly devastated. His mouth is still hanging open from being ready to answer her, but now that his overtaxed brain has short-circuited he's just standing there. 

"Uh..."

"Ain't ya gonna come here?" She asks, gesturing to the bed beside her, but he's rooted to the spot, conflicted. She's in a pretty little matching set of underthings, and that's about all he can process, staring at acres of beautiful brown skin, there, topped with damp curls and a wide, dangerous grin.

"I-- I don't--" he stammers, swallowing hard. Cassidy huffs and presses his eyes closed, scrunching his face. "Yeh _know_ I want to, luv. The issue is _I don' believe you actually do want me_. That this isn't some nail-an'-bail where I end up the odd man out, like _fucking always_. Yous two are gonna have to understand that. Because I am _always_ the one left out in the cold. So if yer serious about this bollicks, the t'ree of us goin' fer it... well, yeh got a lot of explainin' an' convincing ter do. Cos I'm not buyin' it. Not after Nola, an' ' _specially_ not after Angelville." 

Tulip stands there for a second with her arms crossed, debating, and then nods. "I can see that. We yanked you around a lot, and playin' with feelings ain't fair, no matter who's winning or losing. But Cassidy, sugar, you oughtta know by now that me n' Jesse don't just take on any _straggler_ that comes along. You fit. Always have, with _both of us_. So, once we agreed on that, it was easy to discuss getting you in bed, too." She approaches slowly, like cornering a skittish dog, and bites her lip, eyebrows dancing. "You're already in our hearts, idiot. It's the rest of ya we're ready and waitin' on." 

Cassidy sits on the bunk behind his knees, quiet and frowning somewhere toward Tulip's belly. Finally, after what seems like forever, he shakes his head and huffs. "I kin accept what yer sayin, and' what Jess said last night. I guess. But I still don' trust yeh. Either of yous. T'at's gonna take work, luv. I mean...he fucking cut me into pieces and put me in a bag. I'm honestly still a little shocked t'at he left me blood at all. I'm grateful yous got me out, an' yeh know I love yeh ter death, which fer me is literally neverending, but... it's gonna take a while fer me ter let yous two in again. I fell 'ard as I could fer both of yez, and look where it got me. Sidelined. I can' go t'ru dat shit again. It _never bloody ends_ , Tulip." He gets louder when she tries to interrupt, making her mouth snap back shut, but she understands. For someone who wears his vampirism and heart right on his sleeve, he's being awfully cautious. 

How unlike him, she thinks. 

"So you think we came all the way to fuckin' _France_ to bring you back and keep you third wheel? D'ya really think so little of us?" Tulip demands, stepping closer. She's almost in between his knees now, bearing down above the campure, and he balks backward. "We risked our lives for you, Cass. After we already said our goodbyes. That what has you down?" She asks baldly, noticing his wince. 

Cassidy looks away and shakes his head. 

That's definitely Italy part of it. He'd already said his goodbyes, shitty as they were. Eccarius had it right; he was ready to go back to a miserable, lonely existence til the next fucker came along and made his life worthwhile. 

And then Tulip called again. And made it so much worse. 

She gave him a glimmer of hope, the scalding, dangerous sun that she was. 

Cassidy pressed his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering, " _nach í atá gealgháireach_ ," quietly before looking back up at her. "Fine. But we're takin' it slow!" 

 


	4. Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update:

Hey guys.

False update.

This story has NOT been abandoned, it is under the process of severe editing and about to be rewritten. The smut happened WAY earlier than I wanted it to because I'm weak and I let it. 

It's going back to slow-burn with a distant and bitter/pining Cassidy and the other two trying to make it work. I said I was going to try and make it as show-worthy and "realistic" as possible, and I let it go along the same vein as the rest of my smut. 

I apologize.

Maris

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos/comments, they are finger-fuel for more chapters and faster updates!


End file.
